by Reena Daruwalla, guest writer for Nancy Hayssen.com

Have you noticed that most things that we like are probably not good for us? I love ice cream fudge sundaes, I love deep fried mostly everything, I love to eat the skin off the grilled chicken and toast dripping with butter.

Every time I eat something like that (and I do, occasionally), I think that this will probably give me high cholesterol or clog my arteries or do something unimaginably horrible to me. Sigh!

The joy of eating road side paani-puri (bit like the Indian version of fast food) is unparallel but it will probably give me jaundice! So is there is anything that I love that is actually good for me???

Ever since I read Nancy’s post about Tip no. 7 I thought to myself maybe there are some things that are good for me. And sure enough sex is good for us! Chocolate is good for us!

Since I adore dark chocolate, this is good news (that is the type that’s good for us). Dark chocolate has flavonoids which have anti oxidant properties and which in turn improves blood vessel functioning, keep cholesterol from gathering in blood vessels, reduce the risk of blood clots, and slow down the immune responses that lead to clogged arteries!

Whoo hooo then, we can all indulge fearlessly in dark chocolate which has a high cocoa content and is rich in flavonoids. That’s actually good for us!

And what of sex, how is that good for us?

Well apart from the obvious, (pleasure and babies off the top of my head) there are other reasons that we must indulge in original sin!

Well sex gives you a good enough work out to burn some 150 calories! All that heavy breathing and racing of hearts is actually very good for you, researchers assure us. Having sex can cure headaches and having orgasms makes you live longer! While the bonding and intimacy are happy outcomes of good sex, stress release is another!

So did I give you some reason to indulge?

I hope I did!

by Reena Daruwalla, guest writer for Nancy Hayssen.com

I got this idea from Nancy’s earlier post, and I thought I would tell everyone a bit about myself in the same way:

Your favorite thing? Music
Your dream last night? Famous, handsome cricketer fell in love with me
Your dream/goal? To be happy and healthy, always
Your mother? Powerful influence in my life
Your father? Most positive influence in my life
Where do you want to be in 6 years? To be better at whatever I do and continue to be happy.
Where were you last night? In bed early after an enjoyable but tiring picnic with my husband, my girls and other friends.
One of your wish list items? to meet Paul McCartney (I would have said R D Burman if he wasn’t dead)
Where you grew up? Ahmedabad, Baroda, Pune
The last thing you did? Brushed my teeth and had my morning coffee
What are you wearing? Still in my nightie
Your life? Predictably Unpredictable
Your mood? Mostly good, crabby if the girls (aged 4 and one and a half) are acting up
Missing someone? Not right now
Your car? Takes me from point A to B, is small so parks easily
Favorite Store? LootMart (Indian Bargain Store)
Love someone? God Yes! So much it makes my heart squeeze.
Your favorite color? Red.
When is the last time you laughed? Last night when my younger daughter was trying to get around me by making faces
Last time you cried? Few days ago reading a book
You’re feeling? Hot so I’ll just switch on the fan
On your mind? Song on the radio (fav Al Stewart ballad)
Last meal included? Veggies and chapatti
You sometimes find it hard to be? In the presence of Stupidity
Something you have a collection of? Music. Cannot bear to get rid even or my old cassettes!
A smell that cheers you up? Rain after a long dry spell. Heavenly Wet Earth Smell!
A smell that can ruin your mood? Burning. That means I will have to cook something again!
Which section you head for first in a bookstore? The Children’s section these days.
Something you’re craving? Tandoori chicken (very strange at this time of the morning)
Favorite place to go for a quiet moment? For a walk or to the gym with my i pod
Something that amazes you? How amazingly varied people are
You have never… been to Iceland. I want to travel the world!
Your fear? Losing someone important
Like someone? Most people unless they give me a reason to dislike them.

This past year I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life!

I’m realizing the happiest moments are when I’m “flowing” rather than “fighting” life – surrendering to what is.

Deadlines, calendars, watches, the concept of “time” doesn’t seem to work for me - it makes me feel like I’m “fighting” against something which I’ll never win.

In times I’ve tried to force things to happen, it just doesn’t seem to work out in a way that feels right and even if it does it feels like life is in a constant state of struggle.

Now, I find that when the “timing is right” or it “feels right” and I act upon these moments of inspiration is when I feel most fulfilled. A feeling of being “free” and at “peace with myself” seems to follow.

Maybe it’s living according to Divine Timing and accepting what is which truly makes me happy.

By Reena Daruwalla, guest writer for Nancy Hayssen.com

“Wanted: Fair, beautiful girl for ….”, or “Fair, well qualified girl seeks…” This is how a majority of matrimonial adverts in India read. As Americans are obsessive about being a certain size, so Indians are obsessive about being a certain skin color.

The words fair and lovely are almost synonyms and there you have India’s most popular ‘beauty’ product, the world’s largest selling sun screen called Fair & Lovely. This cuts across social, economic and even educational strata. Models and actresses are rarely dark or dusky skinned and those that are tell you how they are routinely made up to look way fairer than they are actually.

While in the West a tanned look is equivalent to a healthy look, that is certainly not so in India. In the cities it is a common sight to see young women on their mopeds wearing long gloves, their entire heads including their faces swaddled in a voluminous scarf. While this is a great way to protect your skin from the elements and pollution, the motive behind this is simply that the young women do not want their skin to darken in the sun.

Nancy told me about her visit to the Philippines, when she headed for the beach to get a nice tan and other people with her who were Filipinos huddled in the shade appalled at the idea. That is how it would be in India as well.

I remember that as children my brother and I who were considered ‘fair’ used to loll in the fierce Indian sun hoping to get tanned mainly because we wanted to be different and attracted a fair amount of disapproval from people around. Lolling in the mid summer Indian sun, I will tell you for free, is fraught with peril. My brother and I only ended up with some ferocious sun burn and peeling painful skin for some days thereafter. So there is ample reason to wear sun block here in India, only not for the reasons that most people do.

This is the billboard of a fairly commonly seen advert. In this picture see how the ‘before’ picture of the model is dark and also unhappy. The after picture is fair and lovely and happy too! Advertisement for these products is incredibly regressive to say the least and even angry making. The before is invariably sad, unsuccessful perhaps lonely and most certainly dark skinned, the after will miraculously be happy, successful, vibrant, popular, and most certainly fair skinned!

I think we in India need to learn to celebrate all the colors and hues of human skin that there are, celebrate each one’s uniqueness and beauty!

It may sound contrary to the goal of being independent and confident, but being agreeable when possible can be a huge asset in your sexiness. A huge part of confidence is being a positive and optimistic individual.

When you are easy to be around and looking for the humor in every situation, people are naturally attracted to you.

The air of self esteem is almost contagious, and being open to new ideas draws people in to your world.

When a friend or co-worker knows that they can present an alternate way of thinking to you without being shot down, you will gain their appreciation and admiration, which in turn grows your own self assurance.

*ACTION TIP! The “pay it forward” mentality of spreading good will and confidence is a proven method to making you feel sexier, smarter and needed in the world. Who wouldn’t want to be around you?

by Reena Daruwalla, guest writer for Nancy Hayssen.com

Since I am an Indian and live in India, I like to think that I bring a different perspective to this blog, an Oriental flavor to an Occidental sensibility, if you like.

Anyone who has been to India or has read enough about India would have seen ancient Indian sculptures or pictures of them; even someone with the most rudimentary idea about India would we familiar with the Kama Sutra. If you have seen depictions of the Kama Sutra or pictures of certain temples of India, you would know that people’s understanding of the term ‘beautiful’ was certainly not synonymous with ‘thin’. The women depicted are curvy to say the least!

Full bodied would perhaps be an understatement! Voluptuous, well endowed, even chubby would be more accurate! Well rounded bottom and what would now be termed as ‘thunder thighs’ very much in evidence!

In the past, when food was scarce and malnutrition and emaciation were more common, it was the women who appeared better fed and more healthy that were viewed as beautiful and desirable. That is the interpretation I put on this perception of beauty. Even now, old timers in India encourage children and young people to eat more ‘ghee’ or clarified butter for health and strength.

I may be a bit influenced by that because I think that ‘thin’ is not a very healthy look. I have often found that people who lose too much weight, tend to lose their freshness, the glow on their skin. That may have something to do with the fact that the men in my life, my grandfather, father, husband etc, always seemed to prefer women with some meat on their bones.

If any of you are wondering what on earth these exceedingly sexual, even orgiastic postures are doing in temples, there is a reason for that. In the old days, India faced the problem of under population (as against over population today).

So the kings routinely commissioned the court sculptors to design sculptures so erotic that the people would be turned on enough to have more sex and produce more babies to populate their land!

How’s that for family planning!

MTV is looking for girls (18-25) of ALL shapes and sizes who want to be groomed into a model.

They are looking for girls with a great attitude and a pretty face who can work the runway no matter what size they are. If you have always dreamed of modeling, but never thought you could do it because you weren’t a size zero, they want to hear from you.

The prize package for the last woman standing will include a contract with a model agency, the chance to walk the runway for a celebrity designer, and $100,000 dollars.

All applicants must be 5’7”+

Auditions cities are not yet set, but will be held throughout the US.

If you are interested in getting more info on this NEW SHOW Please send the following info to: model@realtalentcasting.com

Please include your home state (CALIFORNIA) in the subject heading.

Don’t forget to give them:

NAME
AGE
HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
A BRIEF BIO ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHY YOU WANT TO BE A MODEL
AND
ATTACH A CURRENT PHOTO.

Good Luck

by Reena Daruwalla, guest writer for Nancy Hayssen.com

Hi I am Reena and this is my first post here, so I’ll just take the time today to tell you a bit about myself.

I used to think myself fat and this was largely because of my thin as a rail ex-sister-in-law. I heard this from her when I was an impressionable teen, “you should lose weight or you will have trouble fitting in when you go to college” or words to that effect. And you know what was the really sad thing about this is? She thought she was doing me a favor by ‘opening my eyes’, she meant it in a perfectly kindly manner!

What saved me from a crushing inferiority complex and an absolute conviction that I was not a good looking person is my self confidence. I have been a reasonable confident person by whole life and I owe that in large part to the person that my father was.

Now, seven years after he passed away I treasure not only what he meant to me but also what he made me believe about myself. My father always made me see how special I was to him and how my special qualities were obvious to all those around me. I grew up not only being loved but also loving myself.

This self belief is now reinforced by my husband. He often (bless his soul) looks at runway models with distaste and says “who would like that?” As for my two little girls, they think I am the most beautiful person in the whole world! How lucky does that make me!

Even without the emotional crutch of having loving people around me, as an adult I realized that you can be beautiful no matter what size you are, as long as you believe yourself to be beautiful. I accepted about myself very early on, that I will never be thin person, but I always believed myself to be an attractive person.

So I never starve myself or deprive myself of stuff that I enjoy eating but I do make sure that what I eat is reasonably good for me and I do enough activity for good health and fitness. I may not fit into that really svelte dress (though I know what I can fit into to look great!), but I can climb six flights of stairs at a reasonably pace without getting too winded!

Ok now is the time to tell you I am not apt to talk in a serious vein most of the time, so expect zany, fun stuff from me as well, later. Let me have your comments!

Sometimes just putting the words on paper that you not only care for, but DESIRE your partner can be enough to get your own sexiness triggered.

Knowing that he is YOURS to ravish (and to be ravished by!) will get your imagination running. Don’t be embarrassed to share a fantasy with your man… he will probably be floored!

When you write the letter, tell him how much you appreciate his beautiful eyes, strong arms, his deep soft kisses.

Note: Now a days it’s more exciting to Continue Reading…