Do Men Want Skinny Models You See in Magazines?
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What do men want?
We women think we know. They want women who look like the ones on the Silver Screen, the ones on the pages of Vogue and Cosmo, women who look like Cindy Crawford or Nicole Kidman.
What do women want?
We want to look like the women men want. We want to have perfect bodies, perfect faces. And we want to feel good about ourselves, to wear the beautiful fashions we see in those magazines, to look as beautiful outside as we think we are inside.
Ladies, women, girls, listen up: we have been deceived.
Men don’t like sticks or bones. Men like women who have some softness to their bodies, a curve or two or three. Women who don’t look like they’ll break in half in their hands. And they like strong women, both emotionally and physically.
There’s an old European saying that the bone is for the dog – the meat is for the man. That means that women with some flesh, some substance to them, are more attractive than women who are skin and bones.
Does this shock or surprise you?
Maybe it does.
Consider this: most of the fashion industry today is controlled by GAY MEN. Seriously. Now, that’s no complaint about gayness – it’s perfectly fine, and they have a unique perspective on beauty that is a true blessing to the world. But would you ask a mechanic to diagnose your liver problem?
No!
What do gay men know about female beauty and sexuality? Are you trying to get gay men to look at you and say you’re beautiful, or do you prefer straight ones?
The answer is obvious.
So why are you looking at Cosmo and runway models and high fashion when you’re trying to judge female beauty? Shouldn’t you be asking men who the supermodels ought to be?
Now here’s another bone of contention: ask most men where they see beautiful women, and they’ll say Playboy or some other “male” magazine. However, if you ask them about Marilyn Monroe (size 14, sometimes a little larger) or the beautiful women painted by artists from the time of the ancient Greeks to just the last century, most will agree that these women are at least as beautiful, and many would say even more beautiful.
Something disturbing is going on. Media images of women are growing thinner, while the average weight of American and European women is getting higher. Men are being told that these bone-thin women are the epitome of beautiful – and they’re believing it. And women who are on the plumper side of the bell curve, no matter how beautiful they are, are being told that they are ugly.
Ugly? Marilyn Monroe, ugly? Titian’s models, ugly? You and me?
We are being lied to by the fashion industry. Women of medically average size, and women who are on the larger side, are not only healthier than waifishly-thin women; they are more beautiful, sexier and enjoy life more. We are being told that fat is ugly. I’m telling you that fat is normal, and no uglier than, say, a nose. On some, it can be ugly. But on others, it’s a beautiful enhancement.
And the West is an anomaly. In Islamic countries, in India, in South America, in Africa, women of size are considered beautiful. A round belly and luxurious curves make a woman perfect, and sometimes that rounded belly or a large bottom and hips are more crucial to being sexy than large breasts. African-American men and Latinos all agree that women with generous curves are by far the best.
What is wrong with us?
Part of it is the idea of beauty as an unattainable thing. It is mostly in poorer parts of the world that beauty is seen in large women. This is the same reason that tans became fashionable in the mid-20th century, when working women were pale and you had to have money to be tanned because you didn’t have to work.
But that’s only part of it. The rest of the reason probably has more to do with the images promoted by the media than anything else. The media is always looking for the bigger, edgier, more extreme image – and in beauty, extreme is going to be very thin, very bosomy, very perfected. That’s why we have these impossibly-shaped women with ribs showing under their size-F bosoms.
There is a solution.
We must rebel. Instead of bowing to the media, instead of hiding our beauty under a bushel, we must come forward, all the beautiful large women we are. We must lay claim to our share of womanly beauty. It’s ours. We have a right to it.
We must make men stop looking at those unnatural women in magazines as female perfection, and start looking at us instead.
We must let the rest of the world know that we exist, and that we will not stand for it. There are millions who will stand with us if we do it: lovely plus-size women, women who’ve starved their bodies into submission and are just tired of it, and men who love women with curves.
If we stop being afraid, we can pull others out of the dark places and muumuus they’ve been hiding in. We can let the light of day shine on our voluptuous bodies at the beach and in our backyards, and stop being shamed by those who have no idea what they’re talking about.
It will take a movement. It will take a revolution of beauty. I think we’re all up to it. We have the energy to take on those wispy malnourished girls and feed them a sandwich or two!
Ladies, let’s bring it on.
The truth is you don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful… in fact it’s the exact opposite. Learn tips revealed from the just released book “101 Secrets to Be Sexy at ANY Size!” how you can look and feel sexy today, no matter what size you are.
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Hi,Just wanted to say how firmly I agree with you. My wife is 5′4″ 150 and all the right curves. Coming from an Italian back ground I think Europeans always found full figured women more beautiful. The boney models with no breasts or butt are only giving young girls the wrong message. Surveys state that most men do prefer full figured women. Your very beautiful. Thanks. Rick
Comment by Richard Palazzola — March 30, 2007 @ 1:42 pm
Hi, Nancy…
I learned about you by accident somehow. You’re perfectly right about many things (except that Marilyn Monroe wasn’t a size 14 like everyone says, she was actually a size 8).
I’m 23 years old and I have VERY low self-esteem. I’m only 5′1″ and about 120 lbs. at this time. In high school I wore a size 00 (yes, double zero does exist!) but I wasn’t happy with myself then either. I have only had a few times in my life where I felt pretty or sexy or loved by other people. People have been cruel towards me over the years, including my own family. I was raped at 12. I have small boobs in a world that dictates that only big boobs are OK. I’m of mixed race and I look white. I have dark brown hair in a world where blondes (real or not) are viewed as the ideal. I have a big behind, curvy hips, thick calves.
I’m not “plus-sized” in any sense of the word. However, I can relate to every woman in the world who has felt low about herself. I have been called fat although I’m only a size 4. I didn’t know a size 4 was morbidly fat! *rolls eyes* People feel like it’s OK to poke fun of my body or other things about me. Naturally slim women like me often feel imperfect, too. We’re all victims of social conditioning. I enjoy food very much but people make comments about my looks/size constantly. I’m self-conscious because of this. My mother loves me and says I’m pretty but she doesn’t get it. I compare myself to other girls literally wherever I happen to be. I try to love myself but then somebody, no matter who it is, says something that makes me feel worse. I wish I could afford breast implants and a nose job. I wish I could transform myself. I wish I had a beautiful face and gorgeous hair and that I were taller. I know that if I were pretty, people would love me. My cousin is a size 18 but she was always viewed as the “beautiful one” of the family, while I was constantly belittled.
You’re beautiful and I admire what you’re trying to do for other women. This gives me hope, like I’m not the only one hating how I look/feel and wishing I could do something about it. The media doesn’t bother me much because I know it’s mostly illusion and doesn’t fit into real life. I wish I could wake up daily feeling good about myself. I wish I could be more confident and happier with me. How is this possible when people all around me have treated me as ugly and inferior all my life? I wonder if I can be beautiful too, although I’m flat-chested and not so skinny anymore?
Comment by Melinda — April 2, 2007 @ 3:39 am
Ok, thats interesting for me.. Thank you.
Comment by Kronix — April 5, 2007 @ 9:03 pm
Nancy you are so right!!!!And you are very beautiful!When I was growing up my mom told me that ”you’ll have to lose all that weight if you ever want to have a boyfriend-boys don’t like fat girls!”At the time I only weighed 150 lbs and I am 5′6” tall.I believed her and suffered through years and years of yo-yo dieting,using weight loss pills,powders,shakes,starving myself and feeling dizzy all the time, and every type of cockamaimy diet scheme under the sun.I later found out that my mom was anorexic and considered plain letttuce with salt on it a good meal when she was young.I also discovered that she got her ideas about beauty and what is acceptable and what isn’t from Hollywood,the media and reading tabloid papers.Mom was totally wrong about this.I have never been without a boyfriend and both men (and even other women) hit on me all of the time even though I weigh 227 now.I have green eyes and waist length blonde hair and I am a natural blonde.I have come to find out that the thing that makes a person sexy is their attitude,humor and being easy going and understanding.When others see that you are well groomed & neat,friendly,flirty,patient and funny,others take notice of how you put them at ease and they are instantly attracted to you.They know you are fun and not judgemental and this is why they want to spend time with you,and they think you’d probably be fun in bed too!.I have never had any trouble geting or keeping boyfriends,and I have had each one that I ever dated call me back after I was no longer with them!The truest thing I have ever heard about beauty came from an old boss of mine who was a man.He said “Lots of different kinds of men are attracted to lots of different kinds of women.”Believe this as it is 100% true.Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,not a set of rules that only favors one look.
Comment by Rapunzel111 — April 21, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
THANK YOU!!
Comment by maya — July 19, 2007 @ 10:51 pm
Your amazing, you are so beautiful. I have been trying hard to love my looks. I really dont know what Im looking for. You are so beautiful. You made me relize it doesnt matter what size you are. Im not exactly thing or overweight. So you made me relize if i belive that im beautiful. I am.
Thank you so much
Comment by Tawny — July 28, 2007 @ 6:24 am
I’m so glad you are taking a stand for women with curves.
You are truly an inspiration, and I fully agree with everything you said here. You are a lovely woman, inside and out.
I love that saying you added at the top! Next time a girl calls any other girl fat, I’m going to bust out with that saying!
You are an inspiration to women and men alike! Thank you!
Comment by ThatGirlYouLove — August 14, 2007 @ 4:39 am
being a size 2 is not wrong neither is being a size 35. men like women how they like them. its very simple. going around bashing women of smaller sizes is just wrong, and vise versa. what you need to do is for a month, 4get about men, other issues. spend time getting to know youself. once you do that, life will be much easier. give yourself a shopping spree, save up and go for it. find cloths that fit and look good on you. if you dont know what that loks like, there r books out there serving that very job. look in2 them. love yourself and ppl will love you to. dont expect results over night it wont happen. but if you start a life where a man is not nesscery life will be better. just because socity says you need a guy doesn’t mean its ture there are plenty of happy single women, become 1 of them.
Comment by maria — November 23, 2007 @ 12:21 am
While I think there should be acceptance of larger sizes, I am alarmed by this backlash against thin women as well. I know many girls who are naturally built very thin. They face as many insecurities as heavier girls, not to mention al lthe harrassment they recieve from “anti-anorexic” people. One of my very close friends was in tears after a saleslady she didnt know at all told her she should eat more and asked if she was anorexic. No, she’s not anorexic. Yes, she eat’s, more than I do even. Things like that are hurtful to hear, and I feel this new ‘feminist’ interest in plus sizes isnt about acceptance of the female form as rejection of the current image of the female form being shown. Theres more than one body type, and people shouldn’t put down girls with faster metabolisms either.
Also, I take issue with the emphasis that fat is sexy. Yes, to a natural amount, it is. But many women today are eating to an unhealthy amount, where they are trying to catch their breath or putting stress on their heart and joints. The reason many poorer countries prefer fat women is because that meant you could eat, which meant you could survive, natural selection at its finest. In the American society where food is plentiful, those who can carry out daily life and be healthier have more sex appeal because they have the evolutionary advantage, obtaining food is not difficult in a nation of supermarkets. The encouragement of fat as sexy also gives women an excuse to think that being unhealthy is ok. Now being rail thin and starving yourself isnt healthy, but neither is indulging in a sedentary lifestyle, or every fatty, processed treat you cross. Instead you should be encouraging women to live a healthy, natural lifestyle. If they are getting the nutrients and exercise they need, looking sexy and beautiful will naturally follow. Women look best at the natural weight fro their body frame, and the way to achieve that is to eat healthy and be active. Show you truely love yourself by taking care of it, instead of worrying if boys will love you too.
Comment by christina, 16 — December 17, 2007 @ 2:21 am
It doesn’t surprise me. I always believe that there are men who know the beauty on big women. And it proves that I am right. I am big and overweight. I am just find my lover through an online dating(largeplace.com).
Comment by cutebig — December 27, 2007 @ 7:36 am