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by Reena Daruwalla, guest writer for Nancy Hayssen.com

Unpleasant, negative, unfair, bad things happen to all of us as some or other point in our lives. At times like this, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, upset, distressed and ask that perennial question, “WHY ME?!!” The fact is, it’s not just you, it’s everyone at some or other point; fact is and to coin a phrase, “SHIT HAPPENS!”

It is what you choose to do with this unwanted negativity in your life that makes the difference. Do you proclaim yourself the victim and resign yourself to your fate with whining ill grace or do you choose not to (in the words of Dylan Thomas) “go gentle into that good night” and do you “rage, rage against the dying of the light”?

It is not always possible to simply shut out this negativity in life, but what is possible, most of the time, is to take this negativity and find in it a kernel of positivity that you can concentrate on and build upon. A lot of negativity is about perception: is the glass half full or half empty, for me it is always half full, I discern positive potential in every negative.

Let me explain: I used to be a lawyer, was good at it, but I gave up that demanding career for marriage and babies. Did I then feel bereft and as though I was somehow less in charge of my life? Certainly! But at the same time, I realized that I did not have to be a lawyer. When monosyllabic, infantile and toddler conversation began to pall a bit, I turned my hand at writing, something that I had always enjoyed doing and because I feared that my brain would otherwise atrophy.

I now perceive that giving up my career as a lawyer was a blessing (and one not even in disguise), because being a writer I choose my work, I choose my times, and I get to be a stay at home mother for my two little girls. Could I do that as a lawyer? Almost certainly not! I also find writing more meaningful and rewarding.

Say you break your leg; how on earth would that be positive? It is not of the face of it, but you could turn your resultant immobility to your advantage: read all the books that you hitherto had not had time to read, even take the time to watch a couple of silly movies you had been meaning to watch, sit in a quiet place and hear the birds sing and watch the trees grow. A lot of us don’t usually take the time for these simple pleasures in life.

Take the negative and rather than try to banish it, TRANSFORM it!